Its been awhile, 7wks 1day pregnant

Well this is way over due for an update. I have thought about updating a lot but have been trying to survive everything at this point.

I will start with last weeks ultrasound (6 weeks) I was excited to go- DH was not excited that it was an 8am appointment. Anyways, everything seemed to go great. One baby in there which is a little disappointing and a relief all at the same time. Hopefully less complications with a singleton pregnancy. We got to see the heart beat at 117bpm, baby measuring right on target. Ultrasound tech seemed just fine- then it happened. Tech went out to call my Dr, DH and I are talking about u/s (he has a hard time seeing anything, lol). The Dr gets on the phone and doesn't say congrats on healthy baby in right spot (it was a viability scan after all) she goes right into the fact that I have a small bleed??? WTH??? Totally not expecting that at all (I have not had ANY spotting or bleeding outside)!! I mean you would think the ultrasound tech would hint at something?? But NO! I felt like I had just been run over by a truck- happy one minute and crushed the next. She went on to say that I needed to "take it easy" no heavy lifting, intercourse (not that we have since egg retrieval anyways), etc...

It took me a few days to recover from that news and continue with life. Each time I went to the bathroom checking for blood and counting each day as it past.

That brings us to this weeks ultrasound (follow-up one week later because of bleed). I went in, tried the external for a minute to see what it looked like and I could immediately tell that the bleed was bigger. So we started the trans vaginal ultrasound where you could distinctly see that the bleed was much bigger, baby is bigger too measuring right on target for 7 weeks with a heartbeat of 144bpm but that dang bleed really overshadowed the WHOLE ultrasound. I just kept looking at it like- WTH, what is it and why is it there?!? It grew more then baby did I am pretty sure. Don't know exact measurements but I was already upset. The ultrasound tech was a little more open this week only because I was stating the obvious. Talked to Dr and she was not happy. Wanted to know what I was doing last week- like I ran a marathon or something? New definition of "take it easy" this week is sit and lay. Which I can tell you is not easy at work but at least I am not on full bed rest- which she did threaten. Still have not had any spotting or bleeding.

So now I sit and lay wondering how everything is going in there. Dr wanted me to go back next week for another ultrasound but I said no. They can't do anything if something goes wrong, all they can do is watch it and baby and let me know when something is bad- or put me on bed rest. I emotionally can't handle once a week so we will be returning for ultrasound in 2 weeks on the 12th. I am sure the moment I see any bleeding I will be on bed rest or depending on outcome of ultrasound on 12th I told my boss bed rest may be the outcome.

I count each day as a day in the positive direction with this pregnancy. Praying bub is staying strong and bleed is going away. With dealing with IF you would think that just one thing could be easy, at least for a little while but that is not the case.

4 weeks pregnant

Sorry I have not updated over the past week. I have been busy and anxious. I first POAS last Thursday (5dp6dt) it was a faint positive so I called Anchorage Dr who had me come in for blood work. HCG that day was 15, a disappointing number. On top of that my progesterone was low at 12.8. So Dr had me come in for a booster progesterone shot. She said not to be worried about HCG level but how can you not? Anyways I POAS all weekend while camping and the line kept getting darker which was encouraging. Today (9dp6dt) HCG is 136!!! Which is a 28.3 hour doubling time! Progesterone is also better at 21. I am cautiously excited. I was very excited last week but that 15 took some air out of my balloon. I feel very odd like- really? Are you sure I am pregnant? There must be a mistake- this has never happened before!

I will update again later this week. I have another round of blood work on Thursday as Dr is keeping a close eye on my progesterone levels.

PUPO... 2dp5dt

I think its considered two days as transfer was Saturday morning. It is all a bit confusing still. Anyways I haven't been able to blog as we have been out and about enjoying the beautiful Alaska spring- kick off of summer. So here are the details-

Saturday at 10 am we transferred two beautiful blastocysts. The transfer seemed to go well. Dr said my embies are some of the best he has seen in a while. I did ask him for three but he said no- he wouldn't do more then two. After 20 min of bed rest he sent us on our way with little to no instructions for the future. Most people have a beta date when they leave but we do not. From my calculations and reading others I believe it should be June 9th ish. I still haven't decided when I will POAS. I have been reading that maybe Wednesday would be the earliest. We are going out of town again next weekend so I would kinda like to have some kind of idea. Friday would be 6dp5dt so maybe Friday morning? We did still have multiple embies still growing preparing for freeze. Hopefully we will hear tomorrow how many we have for freeze.

Since transfer I have been taking it easy for the most part- minus a walk on the beach which required a hike up hill to get back to the house we were visiting. Had I have known the hike up was going to be so bad I probably wouldn't have gone. Other then that a lot of sitting and sleeping. I did start having cramping this morning- just dull cramping that has been consistent most of the day. Hopefully it is a sign of two embies making themselves comfortable!

Fertilization report...

17 eggs dividing. Some look ok and others look really good. He did not give me more information. Just a tentative plan for transfer Saturday morning.

I am happy that so many are doing well. I was very frustrated that I did not hear from the Dr until 10:30 pm. I was very upset by then- not hearing about them for so long after all of the difficulties getting them here!

DH and I have been discussing the possibility of transferring 3 as it has been such a long road and I have a huge fear of a BFN. We will see what Dr says. He originally said he would only transfer 2 but I know he has transferred more for people in the past... a girl can hope!

Egg retrieval

Was not a fun experience. I hope to never have to do that again. We drove down to IVF Dr town the night before, had a nice night and good day waiting for retrieval. Visited our favorite brewery, the beach and the river.

As the day went on I could tell DH was getting anxious about having to give his sample. Of course I could not resist giving him a hard time. I mean really... I just gave myself injections for 10 days and was about to have the eggs I grew taken from my body and he gets to have some "pleasure."

Anyways, we arrived very early but waited until it was our time before entering. Could not find anyone for a few, IVF Dr was busy with some eggs so did not bother him. Soon everyone arrived and started giving us the down low on everything. The nurse kept saying that I was the one with a lot of follicles and that she wasn't surprised I was moving gingerly.

The prep was very quick. From one thing to another without much explanation. Did not actually get one word spoken directly to me from IVF Dr, he spoke to the nurse briefly- like 5 or less words but did not speak to me. I figure he is just a work-a-holic and maybe a little aspergers (always diagnosing people with my profession). One should know this is coming when they see this Dr as to not be offended. They did do some sedation for the procedure and I am not sure if it is just me (I have had problems with sedation not working in the past) or not enough meds but I was awake during the whole thing and could have cried/screamed the whole time. It is VERY painful. Most IVF Dr's put people all the way out for this but the joys of Alaska is we don't get most things. There were tears at the end- tears for being happy that it was over and crying over pain (it was excruciating). I am feeling better today but was not walking very well last night. Should have taken today off as this morning was rough but I have made it through.

All that being said we did get a whopping 21 eggs! It seems like a lot. I am hopeful that they are mature and fertilized well. We will find out tomorrow sometime between 6am and 6pm (36 to 48 hrs after retrieval) how they are doing and what the tentative plan for transfer will be. I did well today not thinking about it too much (too sore for much) but I am not sure how well I will do tomorrow.


Prayers for happy healthy embies that will be perfect for a 5 day transfer on Friday!

"You exploded over the last couple days"

Was what I was bombarded with yesterday morning when I entered Anchorage Dr office to have my blood drawn. This was followed by a series of questions about how I am feeling and what she thinks is coming next. She gave me a copy of my ultrasound report that now shows 26 follies above 10, a few of which I don't think will be big enough for retrieval but I am thinking that maybe there will be 20- which is a crazy number! I would still be happy with 10, my original goal number. Hard to get too excited about things when they are not out and growing embies yet. Trying to be on the cautious side!

Anyways, I had to wait ALL day to hear back about my estrodile. The aide said that it was run a couple times to be sure but the number was 2851 which is good and that I was to do stims again last night then trigger at 6am this morning.

Trigger was quite the interesting experience. DH has not been helping with shots, who knew he had such an issue with needles/medical stuff. He even said last night (after I showed him the needle) that I should go have it done at the ER- um no. He was worried about hurting me and then me being mad a him, lol- if he only knew how many IM shots I had during IF and endo treatment. After all the work up it turned out fine, I was a little stressed that fluid came out after the shot but from what Dr Google has said that is normal.  

We are leaving here in a few hours to stay the night in town where IVF Dr is located. It is about a 3 hour drive. We will stay the night tonight then drive back home after retrieval as I have to work Monday morning.

Will update probably Monday with an egg number and fertilization report.  

Self injurious behavior

Is how I refer to the stims. I mean really- who gives themselves shots nightly knowing they will sting every time they go in? Oh just the infertility girls trying our best to have something that comes so easily to others!

Anyways, stims are going well. I continue to dread 7pm every night but did get a good report today from the Dr after much frustration yesterday. See I have this conundrum with this IVF. I have my IVF Dr, who I think is a fine Dr and I have my Dr that I have been seeing for awhile that does not trust this IVF Dr. So that being said the first Dr (we will call her Anchorage Dr) wanted me to have monitoring on Monday and stated this should not be a problem for IVF Dr and that monitoring would be fine and better done a little early. Well, this is what I did. Went for monitoring on Monday- waited ALL day to hear from EITHER Dr. Finally talked to Anchorage Dr and she said everything looked good and couldn't understand why IVF Dr did not call me. After a message to IVF Dr I heard from his aide (around 8pm) and she did not seem happy and reported that I would be required to repeat the same tests the next morning. She was not happy that Anchorage Dr was trying to be in charge and reported this makes things too confusing (which I understand, but frustrated). UGH- tears, upset, very hormonal. Just trying to please the world and felt like I was in IVF hell.

Come this morning- still grumpy, did get a new appointment and it went fine. The thing that kills me about these appointments (other then the cost) is that my left ovary likes to hide behind my bowel, the joys of endo and having things attached to things that they should not be- thus making these appointments twice as long as any other person and quite painful! The pain from these appointments is why we stopped doing fertility treatments over a year ago because I could not physically or emotionally handle them. So this is not a fun place for me to be let alone two days in a row! 

In the long run everything was fine today. I have about (again an about because of the near impossibility of seeing my left ovary) 8 follies that are above 10 so in really good shape for being ready for retrieval. I also have quite a few that are right there close to 10 that will probably be ready as well- so a positive day after the frustrations of last night. Considering TWO cycles of girls who's blogs I follow with this same Dr have been canceled in less then a week I am very relieved to know that somehow I am lucky and will be continuing, at least for now.

The plan for the rest of the week is monitoring on Friday and I am assuming trigger will be shortly after that. Hopefully they will be able to see my left ovary better on Friday. The ultrasound tech and Dr decided that maybe we will be able to see left ovary better if I do an enema before the appointment- yeah that's right, an enema!  I am not thrilled but this is just another joy of infertility and the things some of us do to try to have a baby.

Surviving lupron

Just barely! This medication, while easy to administer it is kicking my butt. I am so tired! Even with morning coffee (which is not usually my routine) I can hardly keep myself awake long enough to survive work let alone to get anything productive done after work! Luckily (I think) tonight is my last night of just Lupron. Tomorrow night I get the joy of adding stims to my stack of evening medications. I am relieved that I have 4 day weekends and will not be back to work until Monday. At least by then I hope to have a handle on the new bunch of side effects.

Speaking of medications and IVF I had my suppression ultrasound last week on Thursday. Everything looks good. I have 16 (ish) atrial follicles. I say ish because it is difficult to find my left ovary, let alone get an accurate reading. I am a little disappointed by my atrial follicle count, wish it was higher but praying for 10 or more mature follicles at egg retrieval. Looking forward to seeing larger follicles on Monday!

Beginning of medications

Today I started my lupron injections for our first (and hopefully only) IVF cycle.

I was very nervous. Sitting there with needle and looking at my tummy. Dreading what is to come and that today is just the start- next week I will be doing 3 injections a night.

Everything was fine once I just pulled myself together and got it done. I barely slept last night in anxiety about what was to come today with injections starting. Wasn't helpful that DH was not home tonight.

I have this week off work as I sprained my ankle pretty bad at work on Wednesday of last week. This week of has not been helpful with the starting of IVF and stress over what might work and what might not. Sitting on the couch all day I spend a lot of time looking up stuff on IVF, medications, how others respond to them and outcomes of others IVF cycles. There is way too much on the internet to make me feel both relieved and extra stressed!

On Thursday I have my suppression ultrasound and will find out when I get to start the rest of the injections. Both excited and nervous... wish me luck!   

A brief history...

My husband and I have been married for 6 and 3/4 years. Never used birth control and never been pregnant- ever, never seen 2 lines on a pregnancy test and believe me I have taken enough pregnancy tests for over dozen fertile women to suffice their lifetimes.

Starting in grad school (around 2004) I wondered what was going on with me. I started having increasing pain with AF (aunt flo). Lo and behold when I finally looked further into it (starting in early 2009) it was suspected I had endo and later had surgery (June of 09) to confirm that diagnosis and treat it as much as possible.  Coming out of surgery my MD reported that I was "the worst case she had seen in a long time." The endo was everywhere even on my ovaries which she could not treat. It was hypothesized at that time that at least one of my tubes did not function but the second probably did- we proceeded with 2 IUI's- both negative. We also found out in the mix of everything that DH does have some male factor but nothing that should prevent pregnancy for this long.

A year later and post a 6 month lupron treatment for the endo pain here we are starting IVF with a MD who believes neither of my tubes work which means previous treatments were a big waste of time and money.

So here we go- starting lupron tomorrow. Please God let this be our turn for a baby.